Monday, November 27, 2006

Ooh! A Lesbian Quiz!

Which Lesbian Stereotype Are You? You know you want to know. Just click it! Dare you to share your results in the comments section.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Look Out! Here Come the Lesbians!

Cheesy 50s retro goodness from a pseudo-scientific "how to detect lesbians" documentary. Musicians, there's a lotta sound clips worth sampling in this one!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Stereotype Terminology Explained!

The Babydyke:
# Could be any one of the following but aged from as young as it gets to 20.
# Most likely to say: “Age is just a number!”
# Least likely to say: "I remember this the first time around!”

The Old Skool:
# Usually in their thirties. They’ve been around the block more than they care to admit. They have all the wisdom and battle scars…and possibly issues to prove it. But respect is ALWAYS due.
# Most likely to say: “These babydykes don’t know they’re boooooorn”
# Least likely to say: “So I was in Toni & Guy at the weekend when......”

The Boi Dyke:
# The kind of girl you’re straight girlfriends tell you looks like a boy but secretly fantasise over. She has short very funky hair…possibly a Mohawk or spiky buzz cut and couldn’t tell an epilator from an eye pencil.
# Most likely to say: “Innit!”
# Least likely to say: “Oooh, could I borrow those sandals?"

The Butch:
# Usually found in the Old Skool category, but not always. Very macho. Tends to wear a lot of leather and the hair is short but not overly styled. If the hair is long, it’s unwashed and tied back with an elastic band. No pansy ass scrunchies round this lot. The type of woman who thinks Toni and Guy were 70’s porn stars.
# Most likely to say: “Grrrrrrrr…You lookin at my woman?”.
# Least likely to say: “Hmm, Campari and Soda for me please"

The Femme:
# She looks straight and she’ll stab you with her stiletto for saying so. A dying breed since the rise and fall of the lipstick lesbian, but certainly not dead. Usually found in clusters with their straight friends. Usually very assertive as they need to make all the moves. Many lesbians can’t spot them in their camouflage.
# Most likely to say: “Just because I don’t look like a man I get no attention!”
# Least likely to say: “I've never done this before.... (Oh, yes she has.)"

The Skater Chick:
# A modern day lesbo hybrid of BoiDyke and Femme. They're hot, but sadly, they are usually well aware of this fact. Easily identified by their trademark baggy they full length or cut off at the shins. Closely related to the ever so less popular surfer chick -- gone but not forgotten.
# Most likely to say: “…..” Nothing actually. Never heard one speak.

The Inbetweeny:
# You know who you are. Totally undefined. Every now and again you try out one of the above styles but you never quite fit in. You’re ambiguous and you like to think it’s because you’re all about content over style. You scoff at the others and they scoff right back. But we all bond at the holidays.
# Most likely to say: “I am not defined by a label!”
# Least likely to say: “Now THAT'S something I can identify with!”

The Dyke on a Bike:
# Now this really is a subculture of a subculture. The dyke on a bike can come from any of the stereo-dyke subgroups. However, it is good to be reminded that wherever you start off: riding around in leather with your thighs clamped to a two-wheeled rocket increases the butch levels dramatically. It all starts with the novelty moped, then the 125,then you wouldn’t be seen dead on anything but a Ducati 250. Then it’s Touring Class or no bike at all. Finally you have a Harley with your Femme girl's name airbrushed onto the tank.
# Most Likely To Say: ‘I wouldn’t be seen dead on anything but my Harley’
# Least Likely To Say: ‘Why don’t we take the bus?’

Monday, November 06, 2006

A Coochie to Dye For!

Have we been remiss all these years in not assigning a special nickname, a personal pronoun, to our own genitalia? If you refer to your female equivalent of "Billy Bob" as "Betty", there's a company marketing just to you! They're promising to help you get your “Betty” ready for viewing by an audience to whom it's important that the curtain matches the drapes.