WARNING:Do not confer with your significant other on answers. Doing so maybe detrimental to your relationship.
Match the following concepts with their definitions listed below.
__ born to be a lesbian
__ converted lesbian
__ lesbian by choice
__ bisexual
__ transsexual
__ fluid sexual identity
a) a former hetrosexual who finally admitted her disillusionment, dumped her husband & became a lesbian
b) a woman who possesses the yet to be found lesbian gene
c) only her surgeon knows for sure
d) a woman who has experimented with both males & females before deciding on the better sex
e) a free spirit who wants her (beef) cake and Edith, Suzie, Mary and other females too.
Check all that apply:
1. Hard butches
__ are domineering, controlling and intimidating hairy women with permanent scowl lines embedded in their faces, who scare people on sight
__ never commit, they only conquer
__ are synonymous with stone butches, bull dykes, big foot and Neanderthals
__ are led to believe they have power over women
2. Butches
__ are female Fonzies
__ are notorious for leading many straight women to convert
__ really do carve notches in their bed posts
__ make excellent charm school teachers
3. Soft butches
__ are wannabe butches who just can`t get the attitude right
__ are butches with sensitivity training
__ are butches who have been soaked in downy
__ all of the above
4. Hard femmes
__ are femmes who work out
__ are butches in training
__ are butches who look better in a dress
__ are femmes who have been burned by too many butches
5. Femmes
__ have fingernails and know how to use them
__ have the power and know how to use it
__ are infamous for bringing butches to their knees
__ enjoy being mistaken for being straight
6. Soft femmes
__ are femmes you can sink your teeth into
__ are femmes who need to join a heath club
__ are femmes who whisper a lot
__ are novices
7. Gender benders
__ are butches who wear evening gowns
__ look better in boxer shorts than most men
__ when packing, fill out the front of jeans better than most men
__ make everyone do a double take
8. Androgynous women
__ have both male & female characteristics
__ have neither male or female characteristics
__ are the undiscovered third sex
__ are transgenderists
Read the statements below and decide if each is True, False or you`d Rather Not Say
__ Tops are preferably either butch or femme
__ Being topped by a femme is a peak experience for a butch
__ Being topped by a butch is redundant
__ The taller woman is always the top
__ Good tops are hard to find
__ Good tops are hard to tie down
__ Topps is a brand of baseball cards
__ Bottoms up is a contradiction in terms
__ Being a dime a dozen, bottoms are very cost effective
__ It is not fair to switch in the middle
__ A switch is a woman equally skilled with both hands
__ A switch is a woman who has trouble making up her mind
__ Switches do not really need a partner
__ A fiery woman who switches should be nicknames a "hot cross bun"
Check the correct answer
Conventional sex is called:
__ vanilla
__ chocolate
__ strawberry
__ rocky road
Sado-masochism is:
__ politically correct
__ politically incorrect
__ non-political
__ a famous sumo wrestler
B&D refers to:
__ breakfast & dinner
__ blind & deaf
__ a true, erotic experience
A submissive:
__ is a female submarine commander
__ takes it lying down
__ knows it`s better to surrender than fight
__ is a piece of writing sent for publication
Domination refers to:
__ a spotted dog
__ having the upper hand
__ having the upper bunk
__ a religious preference
Which of the following should we claim as part of our culture?
__ a lesbian who has never been sexual with another woman
__ a lesbian who is celibate
__ a lesbian who sleeps with men
__ married women with understanding husbands
__ any variation of bisexuality
Are you...?
__ happily single
__ unhappily single
__ happily married
__ unhappily married
__ monogamous by choice
__ non-monogamous by choice
__ celibate by choice
__ celibate by circumstance
__ a virgin by choice
__ a virgin by circumstances
Rank these fantasy dates:
__ dating the diesel dyke
__ liason with the leather dyke
__ tryst with the tomboy
__ lust with the lipie (lesbian hippie)
__ fling with the femme fatale
__ loving with the luppie (lesbian yuppie)
SCORING
If you took the test, it indicates that you:
__ are very secure in your knowledge of lesbian identities
__ are a perpetual student lesbian who thought the test was part of the curriculum
__ are probably as confused as the rest of us, and seeking some enlightenment
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