What Type of Lesbian are YOU?

You scored as The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke. You are the lesbian who can connect your vagina to nearly every object in the entire universe, creative and a little creepy you always astonish your friends. The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke 65% The Femme Fatale 50% The Student Dyke 40% The Granola Dyke 40% The Pretty-Boi Dyke 35% The Surprise! Dyke 35% The Stud 35% The Little-Boy Dyke 30% The Sprightly Elfin Femme 30% The Magic Earring Ken Dyke 25% The Quasi-Gothic Femme 20% The Bohemian Dyke 20% The Hipster Dyke 0% What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.) created with QuizFarm.com

The Girl Quiz: What's Your Type?

Which GIRL is your type? The Siren hot. exotic looking. usually has one prominent feature. most commonly has medium - dark skin and hair. (Famous women who resemble this type: Penelope Cruz, Selma Hayek, Eva Longoria, Eva Mendes, Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry) Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

We Invented It!

Just when you thought you might be a lazy homosexual. Turns out we invented the computer! Wow, we rock! For extra fun, how many dykey vibes do you get from the gal in this protest photo?

Whack Ass Advice: Paranoid About Packing

Dear Wordy,

After a few months of really hot chat and devastatingly hot cyber and phone sex, my online babe and I are finally going to meet up in real life. To say that I’m looking forward to getting it on with this delightfully freaky woman is putting it mildly. If it’s a kink, she’s into it – which is exactly what I like in a woman!

Unfortunately I do have some worries about toys and tackle. With all the heightened security and baggage checks at the airport, I might be setting myself up for some major embarrassment. Any advice on how to avoid the horror of being singled out for ridicule by the Rent-A-Feds at the gate and still bring my toys with me?

--Have Toys, Will Travel

Dear Travel,

While we all understand the need for stringent security in the wake of the tragedy of 9-11, Ms Wordy joins you and many others in missing the days of the “friendly skies.” So many wonderful traditions are now lost for the foreseeable future – the teary-eyed farewells and joyful welcomes at the gate, the quickie in the ladies room with your girlfriend five minutes before last call for boarding, etc.

However, to deprive yourself of the potential delights of breaking out the love utensils for your paramour by leaving them at home would mean that the terrorists have won, so by all means pack those bags with all the gear your heart desires! You may choose to use a few wise options to “camouflage” these items, though.

· Never store your vibrators together in a bunch, such as in a small bag. Some, particularly the kind with fancy electronics, may cast a suspicious shadow on the X-ray machine. Keep them loose and fancy free. And for heavens sake, do remove the batteries. Nothing sparks curiosity like a buzzing, vibrating carry-on.
·

· Carrying a business card declaring yourself to be a urologist should handily explain why you’re toting a selection of mock penises, as well. This would also work for various types of rubber tubing, latex products and lube. Just be forewarned that you may be asked for medical advice. If so, keep your answers vague
· If questioned about the 25 feet of rope, leather restraints and riding crop, you might be headed for a rodeo. For the cat o' nine tails, you're on your own.
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· Attaching an “Emergency Floatation Device” sticker on the package will reduce interest in blowup dolls rather quickly.
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· Do pack the scented/heated/flavored/lickable massage oils in unbreakable bottles. It’s nearly impossible to get that crap out of a silk blouse.
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· For another tack, load all your sex-related gear into the same bag and explain that it’s your “display case”. Have your business card ready, because you just might make a few sales while you’re waiting in line!

Good luck and happy traveling!

--WordyGrrl

Got issues? Problems? Questions that no sane advice columnist will answer? Send those complicated concerns to WordyGrrl for heart-felt, sincere answers to those troubling, nagging, itchy questions of yours.

Whack Ass Advice: Little Letters Mean So Much

Dear Wordy,

After a long dry spell, I’m finally back on the dating scene and meeting new people, making new friends, etc. In fact, I’ve met a wonderful girl recently who’s really caught my attentions. We have lots of common interests and enjoy spending time together.

The only thing that concerns me though is that she’s mentioned that she’s into “S&M”. Not wanting to flaunt my ignorance, I just said “Oh, that’s cool!” and left it at that.

Can you shine a little light on this for me?

-- Acronymically Challenged


Dear Acro,

I have three little words for you: Run Like Hell! While some may beg to differ, “S&M” does, in fact, stand for “Sales and Marketing”. Your delightful new kitten is actually an oily weasel who enjoys conning people out of their money in exchange for what are usually shoddy products and services.

Sure, she's charming now, but it’s only a matter of time before she’s got a leash around your neck and has you cold-calling clients at 3 a.m. Then it's off to Step 2: wining and dining some sleazy prospect on the golf course or at the local titty bar just so she can snag that commission.

Sales and Marketing people are just plain evil. Period. Resist her tempting ways and get out while you can!


Good luck and be strong,

--WordyGrrl


P.S. Being into "S&M could also mean she likes a weird mix of Skittles and M&M candies mixed together, but that's odd enough in itself. Do you really want to be with someone who can't coordinate snacks? Didn't think so.

Got issues? Problems? Questions that no sane advice columnist will answer? Send those complicated concerns to WordyGrrl for heart-felt, sincere answers to those troubling, nagging, itchy questions of yours.