Whack Ass Advice: Nature Versus Nails

Dear Wordy,

I’m in a new relationship with a really wonderful woman who’s just about the greatest thing I’ve run across in years. We truly enjoy each other’s company and we’re definitely a “friends first” thing. We’ve gotten past the early stages of “bein’ in lurve” and now we’re settling into the part about truly getting to know each other.

We have, however, some to some kind of brick wall on a couple of issues. Namely, she really needs to get rid of her long nails. Sure, they look nice, but hey—a grrl could hurt somebody with those, ya know? She has beautiful hands already and doesn’t need the claws.

Secondly, she’s been nagging me about shaving. I’m a natural kinda grrl who doesn’t believe in cutting off hair that the Goddess intended us to have. While she’s accepted my soft furry pits and downy legs, she still can’t handle the baby-soft hair on my back.

There’s gotta be a compromise in here somewhere. Any ideas?

--Tired of the Talons


Dear Talons,

First, I must congratulate you on your new relationship. Discovering ones lover is all part of the joy that makes life worth living, isn’t it? Extra kudos to you for being “friends first”, too!.

During the “getting to know you” phase, it’s inevitable that you’ll find some areas that need compromising and your situation is a good example. By resolving situations together, you’re building a history for your relationship that you can look back on fondly in later years.

As for her fingernails… Yeowtch! You’re absolutely right about that being a major lesbian safety hazard. Let her know your concerns, and remind her often how lovely her hands are regardless. You might even offer to trim and buff her nails as a gentle courtship “grooming” ritual.

Now for putting those hands of hers to work. Her reluctance to accept your back hair may simply be due to unfamiliarity. She just hasn’t had enough exposure to your silky strands. This is where time and tenderness come into play.

Ask her if she’d be up for giving you a gentle backrub to help unlock the stress of your day. Set the scene with candles, incense and soft music you both enjoy. Her new manicure (sans pointy claws) will allow her delicate fingers to slip easily through the peach fuzz on your back while allowing her to become more familiar with your body.

So enjoy your evening of tactile bonding and revel in all the ways you two can share your love for each other!

--WordyGrrl

P.S. To make her feel extra special and empowered, let her choose the lotion.

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