Dear WordyGrrl,
I truly adore my girl, but lately her physical condition and refusal to change it has really been bothering me. She doesn't believe in shaving. At all.
I'm all for "keeping it real", but she's got a tremendously hairy back and my fingernails keep getting caught in it. And frankly, it's a bit of a turnoff. Any advice?
-- Hairy Mary's Grrl
Dear Mary's Grrl,
What an unusual question you've posed. Sure hope she wears a T-shirt at the beach before she's mistaken for Sasquatch and appears on the nightly news. But I digress.
Take heart, dear, and don't worry about nagging your girlfriend to compromise her beliefs about trimming off the fur. There are other ways far more pleasant for you to achieve the closeness you desire without the snags.
Discover the amazing powers of a depilatory (hair remover) lotion. Most are pleasantly scented, moisturizing and work in minutes!
Set a scene for intimacy: candles, incense, clean sheets for a change and this "great new massage lotion" you've just discovered. Wine her, dine her and roll her on her tummy for a soothing backrub. An intimate massage of 15 minutes or more -- with that hair remover lotion -- will leave her relaxed and render that forest of icky back fur as a distant memory.
Have fun with your slippery sweetie!
--WordyGrrl
Got issues? Problems? Questions that no sane advice columnist will answer? Send those complicated concerns to WordyGrrl for heart-felt, sincere answers to those troubling, nagging, itchy questions of yours.
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