May is Masturbation Month!

Dangit, we've been so busy celebrating it that we forgot to post an article about it weeks ago! To make up for it, here's a lovely little history lesson for all you vibrator buffs.

Music Video: The Dildo Song

Three babes cut loose with a hilarious ad for adult toys. It's The Dildo Song, and we dare you to keep this jaunty jingle out of your head all day.

Work that Junk Inside Your Trunk!

For heteros, June is historically "Brides Month"... during which two lovebirds join hands and vow to stick together until one of them cheats or gains weight or stops bathing regularly. Now that same-sex marriage is legal (or at least civil unions are), make sure you're primed for all the fun wedding receptions have to offer. Yes, that includes being ready to shake your groove thing at the reception. Curve's Holly S. DeMaagd has prepared a hiliarious Dance List to help you plan your bootshakin' moves at the next lesbian wedding. Work it, Grrl!

Crap Product of the Week: Woman to Woman Spray

Tired of wasting your money on cocktails for the reluctant grrlies? Piss it away on some hoodoo aromatherapy quackery instead -- and watch the babes flock to you! Get the men's version too and confuse the hell outta the whole bar while you're at it! Best of all, IT IS NOT GREASY!

Love is in the Air: Pickup Lines for Spring

It's officially springtime, when every young dyke's fancy turns to love. To assist you in your quest for amor, we offer these sure-fire winning lines to kick off that first conversation with your conquest:

1. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?
2. Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?
3. Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can easily see myself in your pants.
4. Tomorow morning, do you want me to call you or nudge you?
5. Your parents must be bakers 'cause they created a great set of buns!
6. Your parents must be thieves cuz someone stole the stars from the sky
and put them in your eyes.
7. Do you have a quarter? Cuz I promised I would call my mother as soon as
I fell in love.
8. Do you have some irish in you? Would you like some?
9. Pardon me, I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?
10. Would you like to go home for a pizza and a f*ck? [wait for the slap] What? You
don't like pizza?
11. Your legs must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all night.
12. That shirt is very becoming on you. Of course, if I were that shirt I
would be coming on you too.
13. If I told you I liked your body would you hold it against me?
14. Pez?
15. I heard milk does a body good, but damn! You must drink gallons
at a time!
16. Hi, my name is [your name here]. Don't forget it because you'll be screaming it later tonight.
17. Excuse me, but could you give me directions? (To where?) Your heart...
18. F*ck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
19. Is that a felt shirt? Would you like it to be?
20. The voices in my head say you should go out with me....
21. Hey, is it hot in here, or is it just you?
22. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together.
23. I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of my body.
24. Person A: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No) Well then, please start.
25. If I follow you home, will you keep me?
26. Have you ever been licked until tears rolled from your eyes?
27. Pardon me, but may I attempt to seduce you?
28. [Lick finger, and rub it on the clothing of the person, then rub it on
yours.] "So, what do you say we get out of these wet clothes..."
29. (hold up first two fingers on one hand) Know why you should use these two fingers to masturbate? (No, why?)Because they're mine.
30. {Pull out the tag on the back of her shirt]I was just checking to see if it said "Made in Heaven."